Jailbait.

Last night proved to be quite the adventure. Although I said I was just going to go home and do homework, I ended up having a girl's night. I studied all day, so I deserved it. We did our usual dinner out, all dressed up, and then drama ensued.

My good friend, we'll call her Alison, had this passionate relationship with this man, we'll call him Derek. There were quite a few details in their affair that were... problematic. First of all, Derek is 10 years Alison's senior. Normally, I would say the age difference is too much, however Alison happens to be a proud mother, and I agree with her that an older man would offer her stability.

This older man though, did the complete opposite. He had secrets. Dark secrets. On the outside, Derek seemed to be a normal, happy man, that had it all together. No one knew that underneath his pant leg hid an ankle bracelet, and that Derek was always being watched.

As Derek and Alison's passion unraveled, so did these secrets. If you haven't figured it out by now, Derek is a convicted felon. He currently has racked up 30 charges, and is set to appear in court in a couple of days. As Alison got closer, he told her about this situation, by sugarcoating it, and omitting certain information.

Back to dinner.

As Shannon, Alison and I chatted during our meal, conversation kept turning back to Derek. Alison was growing increasingly worried that she hadn't been able to get ahold of him for a few days now. She wanted to stop by his house after dinner and see why he wasn't returning her phone calls.

When we arrived, Alison walked up alone, and Colin, Derek's roommate, answered the door. They exchanged a few words, and Alison broke down. She came back to the car, sobbing, and shared the news. Derek was arrested a couple of days ago, and sitting in jail.

We drove to the city jail to find more information. On the way there, Alison kept insisting that Derek is a good guy, and he must be in jail for violating his probation. When we arrived, she ran in and discovered why he was being held.

It was this moment that Alison became aware of the fact that Derek had sugarcoated everything. She went back to Colin's and talked about it with him. As they exchanged information, both of them became aware of more lies Derek had told them.

I think everyone involved in this situation took away something, especially those close to Derek.

As the night closed, I gained a little more insight on relationships, and who to trust.

Shannon lost time to do her homework.

Colin was left with a mess to pick up, figuratively speaking.

Derek, finally, lost his freedom.

Alison lost a lover, but picked up a beautiful silver bracelet, courtesy of Derek's room. I hope she wears it, and when she looks at it, she never lets another guy treat her the way Derek treated her. She is too good for that.

A Somewhat Productive Day.

This morning I accomplished something wonderful. I woke up at an ungodly hour (6 a.m.) without hitting my snooze button. I took a shower, made a large breakfast, and made sure my room was clean before I left.

This whole morning routine is something I have been trying to master. This is difficult, considering I'm not a morning person. However, I finally got through it in a timely manner, and the result was a great start to my day. I had a lot of stress in my life for a while. I had hardly any structure or balance to anything. So along with other things, getting a good start to my day gives me a more clear and better outlook.

I drove to school, which by the way is at least a 45 minute commute, and to my surprise, there was no traffic! At 8 a.m. of all times! I feel that was good karma. Normally, I wake up late, scramble to get things together, and leave at 8:05 a.m., and for some reason that 5 minutes makes the difference between whether or not there is an accident on the freeway causing stop and go traffic.

I make it to my bioengineering class, and listen to a lecture about what we will do with our major. I am so inspired. Defibrillators, cochlear implants, pacemakers... I can't wait until I am designing products that improve the human body.

Class ends and I call my boy that is a good friend, Joe. I find conversation with him very frustrating. It could have been that he was riding on his skateboard while trying to talk to me, but I feel like all our phone conversations are 3 minute "Hi, how are you?, I'm good, have a good day, bye" conversations. I don't know if we are nervous to talk to eachother, so we are lost for words? I think that idea contributes a little bit to my part of the conversations. I don't know how much he is going to care about what I have to say. Then I wonder if we really have nothing to talk about? I hope that's not the case. More than anything, I need someone I can have good conversations with. We hang up and I move on with my day.

I have one more class, and then I am debating on whether or not I want to go hang out with "the girls" tonight. I don't have actual graded homework to turn in, but I want to do really well in school. I don't want to just memorize concepts, I want to understand them. I want to be the best. I saw the girls a lot this week, so I think I will go home and study after this last class.

♥

Starting Fresh

It's crazy to see how much change occurs in the course of a year. I've done a lot of growing up since last February, so much that I erased all my old posts. They were a bit ridiculous :).

I am now writing because I have a lot going on in my life. I am balancing a 16 credit hour semester for my bioengineering major, with atleast 20 hours a week of work, time for my girlfriends, my boy that is a good friend (currently on a break :( ), and mort importantly, to preserve my sanity, me time. This right here would qualify as me time. I also like to run and hike. Anything that clears my head and allows me to get a fresh perspective on things happening in my life.

I am experiencing a lot of conflict right now, in almost every aspect of my life. Relationships, my independence from my parents, what career I will choose, splitting up time between different friends, and a little bit with my image. The most important thing is that I stay true to my values. Sometimes it's hard to tell where the line is between my opinions, and society's.

I kind of like it this way though. If I had it all figured out, wouldn't that just be boring? So here, I present my space where I can contemplate all my conflict, and maybe actually seeing it words will help me form some better solutions, rather than just relying on going through things in my head.

This isn't intended to be literature for the public, however I do have my settings on public, incase anyone would like to give me their insight on a certain matter, or even possibly learn from my insight! Just don't expect this to always be an entertaining piece.